the R and L phenomenon - Part 1

For the past year I have had the opportunity to give private English lessons after school to Japanese adults. One of my students is Akira. He is a 35 year old accountant who walks, talks, and thinks like a robot. The man is like a walking encyclopedia. When asked a question, his eyes suddenly look down, and begin to dart from side to side as if he's reading from a transcript. About a minute later, he looks up and is ready to give his dissertation.

Akira enjoys talking about politics, economics, and accounting (of course). Since he is an accountant for Universal Studios of Japan, I decided to ask him about Arnold Swarzaneggar, a few months ago, while he was running for governer. I was curious what he knew about the "terminator"... Big Mistake!

He thought for a moment, then began to tell me that he had the chance to meet Ah-Nold a couple of times and that he was a very charming and charismatic guy. He then said, "I think he'll do well in the upcoming erection."

At that moment, I wished that I could turn back time.

The dissertation began about the big erection in California. Everything you ever wanted to know about an erection was told. Celebrities and erections. What it takes to succeed in a difficult erection. How the erection can be miscalculated due to improper counting (like in the case of the Bush and Gore erection)... and on and on...

Unfortunately I didn't have the courage to tell him that its an eLection not an eRection. I feared that I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face while telling him. If I did start to laugh, he would probably ask why I was laughing... which would mean that I would have to explain the difference to him. And frankly, no hourly fee is worth that to me.

I'm thinking that for the month of November, during the big Bush and Kerry showdown, I'm going to be unavailable for English lessons. Just to be safe.